Four Answers to Any Yes/No Question

There are 4 answers to any Yes/No question …

You only heard two when you were little, and a third if you studied leadership or business. But the fourth one? Rarely heard — and yet in retrospect, might be the most beneficial.

video transcript

There are four answers to any yes/no question.

When you’re little, it seemed like there were only two answers: yes and no … and when it came from your parents, the answer was usually no.

When I really started studying leadership and business, I was taught there are three answers: yes, no, and here’s an alternative. The nuance was to not think inside the black-and-white box of either “yes, let’s do your plan” or “no, don’t do that” … either way, ending the discussion. Instead, seek out other alternatives; or (as a leader) guide others in identifying and enabling alternatives.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on a fourth response … “not yet”:

• Not yet is not “yes” — because you didn’t get it
• It’s not “no” — because you will get it
• It’s not “an alternative” — because it is the original plan
• It’s about timing

I believe when we get a “not yet”, it feels like a “no” … it is often by the divine hand of God and His plan. You might have a different lens: ‘the universe’ as a whole, ‘karma’, or randomness; whatever you think shapes your today and your tomorrow. Regardless of the source, consider this:

• When my kids were little and they asked me for a car, sometimes I said ‘yes’ … they were Hot Wheels or made from Legos; they got them for good grades or helping out.  Other times, I said ‘no’.
• When they were 15 and asked for a car I said ‘not yet’. They weren’t ready for real car, but I knew (and they hoped) that I would eventually say yes (later).

Even as an adult there have been things that I’ve wanted. I realize now that (looking back), if I had gotten them when I originally wanted them, I wouldn’t have been ready. I wouldn’t have appreciated them nor utilized them for their maximum benefit nor mine. That goes for job roles and promotions to finding the love of my life. If they’d come into my life earlier, I wouldn’t have been ready … and so they didn’t.

And whether you would call that the universe at large, what I call that God’s grace, or what Garth Brooks calls ‘Unanswered Prayers’ … when it comes to what we want in life or business, there are at least 4 answers: yes … no … here’s another option … and not yet.

That last one is rarely heard, but in retrospect, might be the most common response.

See you next Monday